The Intro to the end. |first day|

Date: Monday, March 24, 2008
Time: 1am

I’ve decided my life needs to be recorded if only to keep some witness of myself so as not to slip into the cracks of time. Vanishing with nothing more then a grave marker that eventually will be lost as well, I don’t even want to think about it. So what to write in my online journal huh? I guess who I am could be a start right? Well my full name is Heather Rose McMahon, but you can feel free to call me plain old Heather, minus the plain, and old parts of course. I’m currently 16 years old my birthday is June 5th.. Wow this is all pretty basic boring stuff huh? I guess it’s just easier to get it out of the way first though that’s not a good plan to draw in an audience really… ah well. As for looks go I’m a natural blonde(dirty blonde really) but I recently died it red, why may you ask? I have ALWAYS wanted dark red hair, I’m Irish and have the childish need to have red hair so I feel I match better.. Something like that. Eye a hazel that’s odd, it’s a stormy grey blue with splashes of green hues, but when I cry it become cat emerald green, like my cat moose.

As for size I’m about 5’7 and 124 pounds(but lets keep that to ourselves, I don’t care what you say I feel to heavy) and my shoe size is a nine, big for a girl. AT least I presume it is, I have no clue I’m the only daughter for my father. Then it’s three boys, of course my mother had two daughters and two boys, will get into that when I really feel comfortable enough to discuss it. Right now I really just need to write and the book I’m trying desperately to create has come to a stand still due to my normal mood swing like days.

It was easter today, well I guess it would sorta be yesterday but anywho.. It was alright I got concert tickets to see The hush sound with Panic! At the disco, I’m excited but it’s not until may 6th.
How does my father expect me to get excited know knowing it will drag on forever until then. He doesn’t really catch on to concepts like that. AH I forgot to mention one very important factor, my friend.. Lets call her Eve would be mad at me for mentioning it. It doesn’t ‘make me who I am, and you’re still pretty no matter what” which is pure bullshit seeing as how she doesn’t have it, how the fuck would she know? Sorry pardone moi French. I have psoriasis it’s a skin disorder most people get it here and there I have it EVERYWHERE, yes when I say everywhere, I mean, everywhere =/ and it’s not just alittle everywhere, it’s dark red, or white and flaky depending on the weather and creams I put on it.

It’s truly a pain in the ass I’ve had it since I was a baby which has made school life a living hell, I can’t blame anyone for picking on me because of it. I mean they don’t see it often, don’t know about it.. Why wouldn’t they destroy my self-confidence for their own pleasure? I’m betting you can just choke on the sarcasm eh? Sorry I try to be nice when I can you get cold when you’re not ‘goddess beautiful’ or maybe bitter is a better word? Idk really it comes and goes like some sick monster after the children.. Not sure where I was going with that comparison.

But I guess I’m on the topic of my skin because the truth is, it has made me who I am, a carpet for people to walk all over get her to do stuff so she feels worth something more then a pile of shit in your house. I guess I wish that it didn’t make me, that I could really say “It’s just an illness, I’m fine either way’ because I know I would be fucking myself over trying to lie that much. I can only take so many bullshits in one day ya know? And I wasted them pretending my easter didn’t blow… I don’t know what I expect anymore, some guy to show up, for no reason on gods green earth, fall in love with me and romance and danger insues.. Sorry day dreaming… I do that a lot maybe some time I’ll share with you the entrance into my find, until then lets stick with the now.

I have a rat, and am a girl, that seems to confuse some people…. I don’t understand why Romeo is a perfect gentalman, if you don’t have food anyways. He’s very clean and smart. I also have a cat named Moose, don’t laugh, I didn’t name him, he used to be my grandmothers honest. Poor boy is the best example of a male ego gone large, but he’s snipped.. So he really can’t show off, he’d be laughed at by every tabby on the block. He’s my love of course, a good boy….when he chooses. He’s also a pain in the ass, rude, selfish and arrogant, like most men I meet so I can’t count his sex against him. He does keep me warm in the winter by sleeping next to me, and he only likes me.. Unless you have food. What is it with males and food? Or maybe it’s just animals.. Lastly I have a dog named Camry, once again not my name choice, it was my step-mothers. If my oldest brother Andrew had it his way she’d be named Fox Mcloud, yes I’m 100% serious. I almost said yes if only to be able to shout “Fox Mcloud you get out of the garbage!” then have a small giggle fit and walk away.

Well it’s getting up to 1:30 now I feel like I could write for hours, I mean I haven’t even talked about my day. Ah well maybe I should sleep to some sad songs and cry. Don’t make fun of me I’m not ‘emo’ whatever the hell that means anymore. I’m just a very odd person, with issues like every other person, being a girl does not help. I’m not saying our sex is more vulnerable to crying but.. Oh who am I kidding we’re cry babies a lot of the time.. Some of us, there are exceptions. WELL this was a hoot,

talk to you later
Love always-
Your insanely odd Heather Rose McMahon… but will stick to Heather eh?