The oddestb thing of all (cases?) |Day two|

Date: Monday, March 24, 2008
Time: 10:47pm


Well folks today was interesting to say the least, for starters I’m tired right now. You may say, so what, well for an insomniac it’s a startling idea that you are in fact tired and want to sleep.. Very odd. That would be the best way to label this day as, odd. I’m writing now because I want to sleep soon and I don’t know if I’ll make it until 1am to update this thing. Well I should start by saying, I did not wake up until 3 in the afternoon which of course put me out of wack with everyone else who’d indefinitely been up since 10am. Weird little creatures of habit those ones are, I mean who in their right mind wakes up early on a day off?

Yes I had a day off today not sure why I mean it’s Easter but we also have a ‘spring break’ coming up soon. I found myself bored to tears and started downloading games for my gba emulator and wound up playing Pokemon. The old firered version, I hate all the new sell out versions these days. I was fine with the old pokemon while they had to ‘revise their product’ whatever.

That’s not the odd part, ok it kinda is me caring about a game that much to shout when I lost. Is painfully obvious odd for me. The weird part was I had a very deep conversation with my dad, well step dad but I call him dad. Now anyways, for the longest time I couldn’t bring myself to dare call such an amazing guy dad. It didn’t seem to make any bloody sense that he could be considered my father, in any light. Not sure what changed I think I just grew up and got sick of making my real father feel ok by just calling my step-dad ‘dan’ which is like one letter off from dad anyways. So grow up already people, really it meant a lot to be able to call him dad now.

So the conversation started off with me yelling at him, then it ended with me thanking him, I’m guessing you’d like the in-between. Well we started talking about God eventually and I ask him questions he answered he found out one of my most hidden secrets. Which no, I’m not sharing shessh. He treated me like another adult though and didn’t laugh at me or anything which most people won’t do with me. They don’t realize how much I think, and how I think. Which is by far not measured within child-like boundaries of the soul. I showed him some of my writing he liked it I think.. Hope anyways ^^; but I feel better knowing some of the things he told me. SO I guess that’s a good thing.

So odd, odd, odd I want a different word for it, so I don’t sound so repetitive HA Peculiar good that one works very well. It’s just I’ve been thinking so much lately that it was nice to spill it out to another person that I can trust.

Though my thoughts on love are still very rash and out there, well hey I didn’t say I was perfect ok? Love to me has to be one of the biggest things in your life to make it better. So far I havnt had he love I’m talking about, but I do have love, my family friends, God(so everyone says.. Not to sure but I think their right..ish) I don’t normally have days that end with me happy, and like, someone out there actually CARES two sense to take care of me.

Here’s a few basic rules about me

1) I’m a tough girl
2) I’m not as tough as I say
3) I stand up for people
4) except myself
5)I’d die for any of my friends or family
6)I need to hear that I’m beautiful every once in awhile, even if I tell you to shut up
7) I wish someone would help e be brave and stand up for me no matter what
8) I day dream about the perfect guy
9) which in normal standards he’s very far from perfect…
10) I have a weird taste in men
11) I think a lot…
12) No, I mean A LOT
13) Life scares me

I mean how does no one see this? Am I that guarded of an individual that no one is even BOTHERING to see the real me? How can they be ok with my stand-offish I’m a smart girl who can handle herself ways. I can barley stand them and I’m the one doing it, ya know. The only reason I can come up with is, they plain old don’t care and would rather me be how I act. I can’t bring myself not to be so cold to the world, it’s like the world has frozen itself to me, so I should teach it a lesson.

I know there’s someone who’s perfect for me out there, then there’s the person I want to be with.. Too bad I created him in my own mind. Once you do that the probability of ever finding such a person drastically plummets. Sadly I wasn’t aware of this rule at seven when I decided to create him…

That’s way too much information for you guys, sorry I’ll be more careful next time promise. I think I’m off my rocker to be totally honest… no one else seems to think so. They call me, smart, very smart or brilliant. Ok no one has said that, only two people.. Three -_- I don’t know why I don’t feel smart but people think I am?

I was once told(today actually)

‘Be careful about what the world says’ an extremely smart man who’s been through more then I could ever attest to. So I know that he very well knows what he’s talking about. I look at him, all he’s doing now and how nice his life is turning out to be and feel hopeful. That maybe, just maybe things can turn out for the better.. Well just have to wait and see huh? There’s so many twist and turns in life that I’m about ready to sit down and have a sandwich and calculate my options

I want to be a writer, and a photographer. You need money to buy a camera, it’s free to write. I’ll stick with writing for right now, spring break brings going to my moms, and seeing Andrew and Thaney.

Well that’s all for now Chelsea lately is coming on and I don’t want to miss it


Stop laughing xD the shows pretty good ok!

Love always,

A happy Heather

For now =)